Kasey at the bat,
Good thing you called The Hotline. We have had our hearts broken so many times, the scotch tape is beginning to give-way. There is no easy way to quickly recover from an emotional blow to the ventricles. After the waste basket is brimming with snotty tissues and the ice cream and frozen lard has all been consumed, what else can a girl do? A new pair of kitten heels might do the trick, but we have some other suggestions we think might work.
Take a goose - I mean a gander, at these tips:
1. Believe that you can!: Getting over him begins by believing that you can first. Dig deep and find inner strength. Claim it. Today is a brand new day. Avoid certain statements: “I’ll never get over him” expressions reinforce what you don’t want to happen. So do the opposite. Say the right lines and things are bound to change faster.
2. Cut all communication: It's so so hard. Don’t return calls, emails, anything! Don’t give yourself room so you can go crying back into his arms. Cut all entry points. Delete his number off your phone. Don’t spy on him with facebook or email if you know his passwords. Let him be. Resist the temptation to take desperate action.
3. Find a new activity: Find a new outlet to focus on. Go biking or take dancing lessons. Better yet taking boxing classes and really let that steam off.
4. Look nice for YOU: Go get your hair done. Have your nails done, too. Pick out a new dress. Look nice to please you and no one else.
5. Don’t use alcohol or hurt yourself as escape route: You don’t deserve this self beating and physical abuse. These toxins are not solutions. In fact they make you feel even worse.
6. Start dating again: Turn a new leaf. Don’t hide under your shell. Meet new people. Don’t live your present with the past. Go out with friends: Live your single life again with your friends. Discover how to do things as a single girl again. Live life with no commitments. Free yourself.
7. Expel your emotions: Cry, cry and cry. Talk, talk and talk. It’s all right to get emotional. Give yourself a week than move on.
8. Don’t pretend you’re still together: Immediately let other people know that you are not going out together anymore. Say it right away so they stop associating you with him anymore.
9. Make a hate list: Write down all the lousy things you experienced in your last relationship. Then place this list on places where it will remind you what you gone thru. Stop thinking of the good times: Block your mind of these memories. Instead just say, “Erase. Erase. Erase.” Say these words every time you are reminded of him.
10. Remove all reminders: Get a box and place all the garbage that reminds you of him. Then set a disposal date and stick to it. Getting rid of them will help you get rid of him.
11. Act like you don’t care: Action cures fear. Do it and your fears will disappear. Start acting it then later you’ll start to believe it. Shrug him off. 12. Realize you’re not the only one: Get a prospective. You’re not the only girl whose heart has been broken. You are not making history. It’s just a normal part of life.
13. Believe you’ll love again: There’s always hope. It’s not the end of the world. Some where out there is someone who is tailor fit for you.
14. Stay away from his friends: Stay away from them. You’ll look like a loser. Find new friends to associate with. 15. Disrupt your normal activities: Change your patterns. Get an unplanned vacation. Do something radical that will keep your mind busy and distracted.
16. Buy a puppy: Give him your love instead. Better to give it to something that will remain loyal to you and true.
Ugh. Lost love is a broken heart. Good Luck, Kasey.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Where on earth are my car keys? - Dave S. Trenton, NJ
David Goliath Jr.,
Good thing you called The Hotline. As we can only assume you do not own a purse (although we've been wrong before), we dare say it is safe to think they are most likely not covered in shriveled globs of gum that have somehow escaped the foil wrapper at the bottom of said purse. With that deduction, there is only one obvious choice remaining: your keys are on the kitchen counter.
Perhaps your question should have been: "Should I go out at 2:00am in the morning?".
Enjoy the ride, and buckle up for safety.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Good thing you called The Hotline. As we can only assume you do not own a purse (although we've been wrong before), we dare say it is safe to think they are most likely not covered in shriveled globs of gum that have somehow escaped the foil wrapper at the bottom of said purse. With that deduction, there is only one obvious choice remaining: your keys are on the kitchen counter.
Perhaps your question should have been: "Should I go out at 2:00am in the morning?".
Enjoy the ride, and buckle up for safety.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
What should I do on my days off from work? - Tim N. Minot, ND
Timmy Dean Sausages,
Good thing you called The Hotline. We've had hundreds of days off in our lifetime - some planned, some unplanned, some faked, some real, some we won't bother mentioning, some our lawyers advised us not to mention.
Forget about washing the car, cleaning the bathroom, or repainting the hallway. Those are tasks to take on in the downtime of precious procrastination. Tim, my friend, stuff a $5.00 bill in your pocket, head straight for the thrift shops and don't look back. Leg lamps, broken picture frames with other people's families in them, a 1980's vanity mirror set, and a " I love grandma" coffee cup await you, all for a mere $2.50. The treasures you may find will vastly improve your overall morale, and hence, your overall productivity.
Thank goodness you called The Hotline... you could have exhausted yourself for nothing.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Good thing you called The Hotline. We've had hundreds of days off in our lifetime - some planned, some unplanned, some faked, some real, some we won't bother mentioning, some our lawyers advised us not to mention.
Forget about washing the car, cleaning the bathroom, or repainting the hallway. Those are tasks to take on in the downtime of precious procrastination. Tim, my friend, stuff a $5.00 bill in your pocket, head straight for the thrift shops and don't look back. Leg lamps, broken picture frames with other people's families in them, a 1980's vanity mirror set, and a " I love grandma" coffee cup await you, all for a mere $2.50. The treasures you may find will vastly improve your overall morale, and hence, your overall productivity.
Thank goodness you called The Hotline... you could have exhausted yourself for nothing.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I found a recipe online for chicken with stuffing and orange juice but I cant find it again. Where is it? - Jake E. Austin, TX
Jake the Snake and the fat man,
Good thing you called The Hotline. Any recipe with stuffing in it is a recipe worth making, and then subsequently worth devouring by yourself, alone, in a dark kitchen at 2am while everyone else is asleep, with the fan on so no one can smell it. And then the next morning you're so bloated from all the carbs that you swear off stuffing for the rest of your life but we both know that's just a false sense of repentance...I remember that night.
Regardless of regrettable yet oh-so-intentional late night chicken indulgences, I do believe this is the link to the recipe for chicken with perks that you desire.
Good thing you called The Hotline. Any recipe with stuffing in it is a recipe worth making, and then subsequently worth devouring by yourself, alone, in a dark kitchen at 2am while everyone else is asleep, with the fan on so no one can smell it. And then the next morning you're so bloated from all the carbs that you swear off stuffing for the rest of your life but we both know that's just a false sense of repentance...I remember that night.
Regardless of regrettable yet oh-so-intentional late night chicken indulgences, I do believe this is the link to the recipe for chicken with perks that you desire.
SWEET CITRUS CHICKEN
1-2/3 cups hot water
1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix for Chicken
6 small Boneless skinless chicken breast halves (1-1/2 lb.), pounded to 1/2-inch thickness
2/3 cup Orange juice
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
3 Tbsp. Butter or margarine, melted
HEAT oven to 400ºF.
ADD hot water to stuffing mix; stir just until moistened.
PLACE chicken in 13x9-inch baking dish. Mix juice, sugar and butter until blended; pour over chicken. Top with stuffing.
BAKE 30 min. or until chicken is done (165ºF).
ADD hot water to stuffing mix; stir just until moistened.
PLACE chicken in 13x9-inch baking dish. Mix juice, sugar and butter until blended; pour over chicken. Top with stuffing.
BAKE 30 min. or until chicken is done (165ºF).
For Jake's sake, keep your dignity. Don't eat it all at once.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
What should I eat for lunch? - Adam L. Okland, CA
A-Team,
Good thing you called The Hotline. If there was ever a time to eat a club sandwich, now is the time. Three slices of bread and a frilly toothpick always scream"eat me." Request a toothpick with red frills, as red is an appetite stimulant...you might as well be extra hungry while you're at it. And get this - you don't even have to be in the club, just tell them The Hotline sent you, and they'll fork over the sandwich, no questions asked. But don't tell the secret or everyone will think they can get one.
Enjoy your club member privileges during your lunch hour today.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Good thing you called The Hotline. If there was ever a time to eat a club sandwich, now is the time. Three slices of bread and a frilly toothpick always scream"eat me." Request a toothpick with red frills, as red is an appetite stimulant...you might as well be extra hungry while you're at it. And get this - you don't even have to be in the club, just tell them The Hotline sent you, and they'll fork over the sandwich, no questions asked. But don't tell the secret or everyone will think they can get one.
Enjoy your club member privileges during your lunch hour today.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
I'm repainting an old beat up wooden chair. What fabric would look nice? - Hannah T. Minneapolis, MN.
Hannah Banana,
Good thing you called The Hotline. You were potentially on the verge of making a very embarrassing chair-related mistake. This kind of emergency is right up there with not striking oil and slipping on banana peels. Luckily, I am a chair expert. A chairpert, if you will. We chairperts are a lonely breed, but we do have friends in seating arrangements, sofas, futons, and toilets.
Think of all the hordes of neighbors, friends, relatives, acquaintances, in-laws, and that one weird lady who starts talking to you at the meat counter in the grocery store even though you don't really know her but you think she's the mom of that really quiet girl at school - you know the one who always has her eyes closed like she's thinking really hard, all of whom will come to your house purely to sit on your refurbished chair, which has been painted a fresh coat of glossy black, and has cozy lime green and cream swirly fabric...a refreshing change from the once bland forgotten wooden chair.
Thanks for calling The Hotline. You did yourself a great favor.
Good Luck with your new black green and cream seat.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
Good thing you called The Hotline. You were potentially on the verge of making a very embarrassing chair-related mistake. This kind of emergency is right up there with not striking oil and slipping on banana peels. Luckily, I am a chair expert. A chairpert, if you will. We chairperts are a lonely breed, but we do have friends in seating arrangements, sofas, futons, and toilets.
Think of all the hordes of neighbors, friends, relatives, acquaintances, in-laws, and that one weird lady who starts talking to you at the meat counter in the grocery store even though you don't really know her but you think she's the mom of that really quiet girl at school - you know the one who always has her eyes closed like she's thinking really hard, all of whom will come to your house purely to sit on your refurbished chair, which has been painted a fresh coat of glossy black, and has cozy lime green and cream swirly fabric...a refreshing change from the once bland forgotten wooden chair.
Thanks for calling The Hotline. You did yourself a great favor.
Good Luck with your new black green and cream seat.
Another decision saved,
The Hotline Experts
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